💜💜💜💜💜💜💜Gender Based Violence and the Rising Cases of Femicide

There’s a kind of pain that doesn’t just bruise the body, it wounds the spirit of a nation. Gender based violence has become one of those deep, silent scars that Kenya, and honestly the whole world, keeps carrying. Every other week there’s another heartbreaking headline, another woman gone, another family mourning, another life cut short by someone who once claimed to love her. Femicide isn’t just a statistic, it’s a reflection of a society that’s losing its empathy, its sense of responsibility, and its respect for life.

What makes it worse is how normalised it’s become. People scroll past these stories like it’s just another post in the news feed, shake their heads for a moment, and then move on. But behind every name, every face, there’s a life that had dreams, laughter, people who depended on her, plans that will now never happen. There’s always someone left behind, a child, a mother, a friend, trying to understand how love can turn into violence, or how silence from those who knew can lead to death.

Gender based violence doesn’t start with murder. It starts with control. It starts with a man telling a woman what she can or can’t wear, who she can or can’t talk to, checking her phone, calling her names in anger, isolating her from her friends, making her feel small. It starts with words, with humiliation, with entitlement, and when those go unchecked, they grow into hands, fists, and eventually, tragedies.

The truth is, a lot of people see the signs but don’t act. Friends notice the bruises. Neighbors hear the arguments. Family members sense the fear. But people keep quiet because “it’s not my business.” That silence kills. It’s the kind of quiet that protects abusers and abandons victims. Until we, as a community, start calling things by their name, abuse, manipulation, violence, we’ll keep reading names that should have lived longer.

But it’s not all hopeless. Change begins in how we raise boys, how we teach girls, and how we as a society define respect. Teaching boys that strength isn’t dominance, that love isn’t control, and that being rejected doesn’t make them less of a man, that’s where the healing begins. Teaching girls to speak up, to know their worth, to understand that fear is not part of love, that’s how we protect the next generation.

We need to stop romanticizing toxicity. Stop calling abuse “passion.” Stop excusing anger as “just how men are.” We need to start unlearning everything that normalizes violence, in homes, schools, media, even jokes. Every life lost is a reminder that we waited too long to act, that we didn’t do enough to protect our sisters, our friends, our daughters.

Gender based violence is not a women’s issue, it’s a human issue. When women live in fear, the whole society loses balance. When men are taught silence instead of empathy, the whole community suffers. The fight against femicide is not just about laws, it’s about changing hearts, conversations, and mindsets.

And for every woman reading this who’s in pain, scared, or stuck in a cycle she can’t seem to break, you deserve peace, safety, and love that doesn’t hurt. Walk away before it becomes too late. Tell someone. Ask for help. There are people who will believe you, people who will stand with you. Your life matters more than any relationship, more than any apology, more than any promise of change that never comes.

We can’t undo what’s been done, but we can decide to never look away again. To listen. To believe. To protect. To love without violence. Because if our generation doesn’t take this stand, then who will?

if any woman,girl is seeing this... 

i hear you, i believe you and i see you💜

By Daniel ndung'u maina